Will January never end? It seems like this month has been forever long. So much cold , snow and ice. I try not to complain about Iowa's winters as I love living in Iowa. It has been my home all 61 years of my life.
But we need some sun shine. It lifts ones spirits and makes my mood lighter and happier.
Even Buddy turns up his nose when I ask him if he wants to go outside and play. He drops his head as if to say Please don't send me outside It's too cold out there.
I have quilts to complete but no motivation to make it happen.
Try to exercise and trying not to overcook so need something exciting to give my life purpose.
I have plenty to do but no desire to do it.
Lord lift this heavy spirit from over my head and give me Joy. Your Joy Lord to live a life that brings honor and glory to you.
I think I hear a nap calling my name.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Exercise
Exercise is a dirty word. I just found out why. My Ah Ha moment for today. Bob Greene in his book " The Life You Want" says one of the roadblocks to exercise is not wanting to feel discomfort. to get over that hurtle I must think of the discomfort I feel when my clothes no longer fit.
So it is a vicious circle and I am on a merry go round that I can not get off of.
The second barrier is losing to gain a dream career. What is he talking about. I spent 32 years working with the public so I could rest and relax in my dream career of being retired. I don't want to go back to work. Just keeping house is more work then I really want but we must keep things clean to keep things healthy. Another vicious circle.
# 3My body is physiologically wired for pleasure- seeking. I don't even want to go there . The temptation might be too great and I might become someone I don't want to be.
I am starting to think I like being fat. just go out and buy bigger clothes. That might work. But then Don would wonder where all his hard worked for money went. Another vicious circle.
Feelings of unworthiness is barrier # 4. I am fat because I feel unworthy?? I don't think so. I am fat because I eat too much and exercise too little. Back to the dirty word exercise.. This book is getting me nowhere.
# 5 Raising self-worth lowering emotional eating. Don says if I thought I was worth any more He could not afford me. Here i am running in circles again. This is getting me no where fast.Barrier #6 Fear of success ( or failure) That looks like another circle to me. i want to succeed but in so doing I am afraid I will fail. Wow! Who knew losing weight could be so hard. Now I am feeling stress and pressure to succeed. Help me Lord.
Barrier # 7 a poor body image. Every year as I get older that body in the mirror looks like it belongs to someone else. I don't know that old lady in the mirror so I try hard not to look at her but just remember who I used to look like / A cute little hot chick. And as my memory is fading it gets harder and harder to find that hot chick image.
Barrier # 8 Unsupportive Relationships. That's a good one. I can just blame it on Don because he won't exercise with me and so he is unsupportive. Or maybe they mean he will not support me financially if I continue getting fat. That might motivate me to exercise and stop eating so much. I can picture myself homeless and starving. Not a good photo opportunity.
Barrier #9 Abuse. That is my point .. I think exercise is Abusive. So I have come full circle and Bob's book has not helped me . Perhaps I am beyond help.
Oh Lord when there is no one else to turn to I have you and only you. Help motivate me to exercise more and eat less . Or help me accept a new bigger version of my former self. My Best Life is right now and I intend to enjoy every moment of it until you take me home. I am just a stranger in a foreign land headed for the promised land.
So it is a vicious circle and I am on a merry go round that I can not get off of.
The second barrier is losing to gain a dream career. What is he talking about. I spent 32 years working with the public so I could rest and relax in my dream career of being retired. I don't want to go back to work. Just keeping house is more work then I really want but we must keep things clean to keep things healthy. Another vicious circle.
# 3My body is physiologically wired for pleasure- seeking. I don't even want to go there . The temptation might be too great and I might become someone I don't want to be.
I am starting to think I like being fat. just go out and buy bigger clothes. That might work. But then Don would wonder where all his hard worked for money went. Another vicious circle.
Feelings of unworthiness is barrier # 4. I am fat because I feel unworthy?? I don't think so. I am fat because I eat too much and exercise too little. Back to the dirty word exercise.. This book is getting me nowhere.
# 5 Raising self-worth lowering emotional eating. Don says if I thought I was worth any more He could not afford me. Here i am running in circles again. This is getting me no where fast.Barrier #6 Fear of success ( or failure) That looks like another circle to me. i want to succeed but in so doing I am afraid I will fail. Wow! Who knew losing weight could be so hard. Now I am feeling stress and pressure to succeed. Help me Lord.
Barrier # 7 a poor body image. Every year as I get older that body in the mirror looks like it belongs to someone else. I don't know that old lady in the mirror so I try hard not to look at her but just remember who I used to look like / A cute little hot chick. And as my memory is fading it gets harder and harder to find that hot chick image.
Barrier # 8 Unsupportive Relationships. That's a good one. I can just blame it on Don because he won't exercise with me and so he is unsupportive. Or maybe they mean he will not support me financially if I continue getting fat. That might motivate me to exercise and stop eating so much. I can picture myself homeless and starving. Not a good photo opportunity.
Barrier #9 Abuse. That is my point .. I think exercise is Abusive. So I have come full circle and Bob's book has not helped me . Perhaps I am beyond help.
Oh Lord when there is no one else to turn to I have you and only you. Help motivate me to exercise more and eat less . Or help me accept a new bigger version of my former self. My Best Life is right now and I intend to enjoy every moment of it until you take me home. I am just a stranger in a foreign land headed for the promised land.
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